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  • Alix Gilland

Inner Confidence

Confidence is all about balance. Too much and you're cocky, too little and you're a doormat.


Unfortunately, confidence isn't a switch where you can turn it on and off anytime you want. It can be hard to build - especially if you have none in the first place. Negative thoughts cloud people's minds and make them feel insignificant. Some people have had negative thoughts for a short while, some for much longer, but they are extremely hard to get rid of.


Some people think that confidence is all about image; how you walk, talk and act. This is how people end up acting boisterous on the outside but still feel insecure on the inside. They think that covering it up will cause it to go away. But it doesn't work like that. As much as you try to ignore it and push it down it always creeps back up when you're most vulnerable.


Some people have no confidence at all and it can make them easy targets. These people tend to be easily manipulated, they cling onto any sort of praise so when it's threatened to be pulled away these people will do whatever it takes to keep it.


A lack of confidence can also negatively affect your work/performance. If you tell yourself that you can't do something then you'll never be able to do it. In contrast, too much confidence can make it easier for you to try something new but makes it harder for you to accept critiques/failure. You have too much confidence in yourself, making it nearly impossible to have confidence in other people. To put it plainly you don't listen to others very well.


Confidence can be both internal and external.


External confidence is confidence you gain/feel because of external factors (praise from a role model, compliments, wearing expensive clothing, being part of a team). External confidence can be very easy to obtain but is easily lost. You rely on other people/things to make you feel better and if it goes away then so does your confidence.


Internal confidence is confidence you gain/feel because of internal factors (self praise, wearing what you like, doing what you like). Internal confidence can be harder to obtain but sticks around longer. People with more internal confidence tend to be more accepting and happy with themselves, they're content as who they are and are usually more independent.


The best way to gain and maintain a lot of confidence is through self acceptance. If you are secure with who you are that will make you feel better than any compliment could. By delving in deep and embracing who you truly are you can build confidence higher than ever before.


Self acceptance can be hard to achieve, especially on your own. We all need a bit of guidance to start with. Take martial arts for example - you may like martial arts but if none of your friends do, then this can make you feel alone. Under these circumstances you'll probably not have enough courage to join a place like Tempest.


But what if you had someone to join with?






If a family member decided to join with you, wouldn't that make it easier? Having a familiar face with you through the first couple of classes can make you feel mu


ch more at ease. But getting out of your comfort zone and making new friends is where you'll make the most progress. You won't be completely reliant on one person and your confidence will grow.


Don't try and change yourself to fit in to what others consider normal. This is only going to break you down from the inside.


Be you. Not your friend, not your classmate. You.


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